FEATURE STORY

Myrtle Beach: Home
of great golf and
wild bachelor parties

MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. (June 13, 2006) - If June is the month for weddings, then it must necessarily follow that June is also the month for bachelor parties, right? And what better place for a bachelor party than Myrtle Beach, which was recommended for this rite of passage by none other than New York Weddings magazine?

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There's a thin line between bachelor parties and buddy trips, and the Grand Strand is especially good for bachelor parties if the soon-to-be-doomed bachelor and his buddies are golfers. You can do everything you normally do at bachelor parties, then stumble out the door for limitless golf options.

What do you need for a great bachelor party? The essence is cheap digs, alcohol and nude dancers. Myrtle Beach has all that and more. For bonus, it's got the beach ? to lie out and let the sun soak up the Jim Beam.

Beware, though: June is also family summer vacation month in Myrtle Beach. Also, pick your spot wisely; the Grand Strand changes character every few miles.

For example, you would not want to party in Sunset Beach, at the northernmost reaches of the Grand Strand. It's quieter than a church. Same for the southern end, with its Southern genteel nature.

No, you want Myrtle Beach or North Myrtle Beach ? where the wine, women and song are. As for lodging, the place has so many cheap hotels - even during peak seasons - that it may be smarter to just drive around looking for something rather than make a reservation.

First things first. Book a cheap flight to get things rolling, and then you want a, shall we say, exotic showgirl bar. You want your buddy to see what he'll be missing, while you get in a few peeks yourself.

Myrtle Beach is lousy with strip clubs; you can't turn around without bumping into one. Here are some recommendations:

• The Crazy Horse was voted the No. 1 club chain in the country by Exotic Dancer Magazine, a publication with as much integrity as Time and Newsweek. It's best known for having a variety of exotic women from all sorts of exotic locales. They have a herd of 80-100 strippers every night for your viewing pleasure, as well as VIP and Presidential rooms. They also have three bars and "full-service rooms," with 10 cocktail waitresses. For golfers, there is a free buffet daily from 4-7 p.m.

• Masters is the largest gentlemen's club in the area, with 33,000 square feet of nudity of the female kind. It also caters to golfers: half off or two-for-one if you show your scorecard. Masters also has a pro shop and an outdoors short course if you can tear yourself away from the babes.

• Others: Derriere's Gentlemen's Club is the only fully nude club in the Myrtle Beach area. It's BYOB. Thee Doll House is another popular spot and, for the ladies, there's Ladies Night Out, with male dancers.

If you're some kind of right-wing religious nut, there are tamer nightlife options.

Broadway at the Beach at Revolutions, Crocodile Rocks, Malibu's and Froggy Bottoms, for example, and the Hard Rock Café and House of Blues are good options.

There will be times when you will have to eat. You're lucky there because Myrtle Beach has 1,800 restaurants, from the rankest fast-food joint to fine dining. You'll probably want a nice place the first night or so, so try Thoroughbreds, The Library or the Collectors Café.

After that, you'll be eating to ward off hangovers, and there is any number of good places for that. Umberto's is a Pittsburgh-style Italian place popular with meat lovers, and Dick's Last Resort is great for beer, wings and barbecued chicken in a bucket. Another good barbecue joint is Mr. Pitt.

There are several good seafood buffets, like Benjamin's Calabash Seafood Buffet. Calabash to the north and Murrells Inlet to the south have good, fresh seafood restaurants.

Pier 14 and NY Prime are also good for meat-lovers. For down and dirty, alcohol-absorbing, greasy grub, you want The Filling Station, a pizza buffet joint that gets raves, Hamburger Joe's or my all-time, late-night favorite, Krystals.

As for lodging, Barefoot Resort and Golf is a good choice, close to the action. If you want something cheaper, the Hampton Inn on 48th Ave. should treat you right. Or, Ocean Forest Villas is also centrally located, close to both downtown and Restaurant Row, and you can bunk in with your buddies.

As for transportation, if no one wants to be the designated driver, you can go hog wild with Extreme Limousine, with super-stretch, SUVs and corporate sedans.

Now, the golf courses. You're going to be a little wobbly and fragile, so you'll want something easy and quiet. I recommend any of the courses at the quiet Sea Trail Plantation, but especially the Dan Maples course.

At 6,751 yards and with a respectable slope rating of 135 from the blue tees, the course isn't overly long, and offers a combination of fairly easy holes balanced by some moderately tough ones, especially the longer par 4s. Women request the course often: the ladies tees, one of four sets, are 5,090 yards.

The Island Green, Surf Golf and Beach Club, Wicked Stick Golf Links, South course at Deer Track and Beachwood Golf Club are also good for you in your shameful condition.